My Mojo has gone. Am not sure where but it has definitely fled the scene. Possibly when I was binge watching yet another box set of The Walking Dead with a family sized bag of onion rings.
Gone. Gone, ducked back down the alley with some roly poly little bat-faced girl (No, I have no idea what “bat faced” means either). Am almost certain Paul Simon was talking about road cycling in winter when he wrote You Can Call Me Al.
“Never mind EPO,” I said to my friend Dave. “I have been ingesting copious amounts of CBA.”
“Oh yes… I’ve heard of that. Very good for inflammation and stress I believe. Is it not banned by the UCI?” He replied and immediately started a Google search on the legality of CBD oil.
“No,” I interrupted him. “You’re thinking of CBD. I am talking about CBA. Can’t. Be. Arsed.
“I’m a husk, done, no energy at all. I just move around slowly, moaning like one of the zombies in that box set I’ve been watching.”
The tsunami of apathy that has hit me is not made any better by any of the cycling magazines that mock me from the shelves of my local newsagent.
Race Indoors to Win Outdoors!
Super Train Your Winter Away!
How to be Brilliant on Zwift!
Kale and Water – Your Winter Recipe for Success!
“These are not the headlines I am looking for,” I think as I scour the shelves for more lifestyle friendly headlines that refuse to manifest themselves.
Turbo Charge your Off Season with Beer!
Train Indoors with Crisps!
Family Sized Cheese Cake – the New Super Food!
So, where does this leave me, apart from a stone heavier than I was in the summer months? How do I kickstart the 2020 cycling season and get off my well padded behind and back into my lycra without looking like a badly packed sausage?
It’s certainly a problem worth spending some time planning the solution to. Perhaps another coffee in my local cycling café will inspire me….oh, and doesn’t that carrot cake look divine. Just a tiny slice never hurt anyone, did it?
The Road Cycling Blog 